Eleanor Roosevelt, the longest-serving First Lady of the United States famously asked this powerful question:
What would you accomplish if you knew you could not fail?
Just think about it for a second. What would you accomplish or create if you knew that success was guaranteed?
- What would you do in your finances?
- What would you do in your health?
- What would you do in your relationship?
- What would you do in your recreational activities?
- What would you do in your career if you knew that success was guaranteed?
Imagined for a moment that you acted this way in your life. You would in fact begin behaving in a way that other people would call "confident".
That word comes from the ancient latin word CONFIDENTIA. It means "HAVE FULL TRUST".
That means if you want to be self-confident, you have to have full TRUST in your abilities. In fact, you have to have full trust on your ideas of how you present yourself and how you perform in any situation.
Firstly, let's look how at how NOT to build self-confidence.
Fake Confidence vs Natural Confidence
Ever heard of "Fake it till you make it"? They say the best way to have confidence is to pretend you have confidence. Well, I am here to tell you that's a lot of crap. That's actually not how you BUILD self-confidence. That's how you have FAKE confidence. And you and I can spot fake confidence a mile away.
Here is the simple truth; both you and I have achieved incredible things in our lives. In fact, you have gone out and done things that you deemed to be difficult or even impossible. In fact, you have done things that you deemed to be so challenging that you never thought you would have accomplished it.
But guess what? You accomplished it. Right now you may not be able to think of any of these events clearly. But the fact is you have achieved things already. Realizing this truth will give you real, authentic confidence.
How To Be Confident In 4 Steps
- Grab a piece of paper and a pen
- Write down every single thing you have ever accomplished or achieved in your life. And I mean everything; from that time you didn't think you could do something in time but you did. You didn't think you could drive a car but you learned. You didn't think you would make more than $x but now you have. Anything big or small.
- Read the list out aloud to yourself every night before you go to sleep. The reason we do this is because you will go into a sleep state and dream these activities and your confidence and self-belief into reality. And as you dream them while you are at sleep when you wake up in the morning sure enough you start to fill even more confident in your days activities.
- Do this for 3 weeks.
Can I Really Become More Confident?
You may be thinking "But I fail at everything! I stuffed up this, I fell over that. I have never done anything correctly".
Let's look at professional baseball players. If you watch a game closely, they miss way more shots than they ever hit. In fact they strike at so many balls it's ridiculously, but eventually they hit one exactly the way they want to.
In fact, every single time they strike at the ball they are incredibly confident because they are leveraging the fact that some time in the past they have had a confident shot.
So it doesn't matter how many time you have fallen over or how many times you failed. The fact is you can learn how to become confident because you have natural confidence inside you that's about to be awakened. So make sure you do the exercise and you will start to feel a confident shift inside yourself...an energy...an ability for you to have full trust on what you capable of doing.
Before you know it, you will be have learned how to be confident unconsciously and easily. You will have trust in self-belief in your abilities. Other people will say "You have such natural self confidence". Little do they know that confidence is a skill... and skills can be learned.