Today I want to talk to you about the M word.
That's right... Money.
Having trained well over 1000 people to become internationally certified coaches, I know that something happens when you first go out into the market place, and start to change people's lives, and start to make a difference in the world.
And that is, people out there struggle to charge Money.
They often think to themselves, "How could I charge money for services like these? How could I charge money for these gifts that I have? How could I charge money for helping people heal and transform their life?
How can I charge money for helping people get clarity, and get direction of where they want to go in life? Helping them find their purpose and their mission?
How can I charge money for helping people improve their relationships? How can I charge money for helping people feel happier? "
This may not be something that affects you, but I can tell you from first-hand experience that it affects tens of thousands of difference makers around the world. When I first got started over 11 and a half years ago, I didn't know how to charge money. It may just sound foreign to you, I get it. But here's the thing. A lot of people struggle with this concept, and I definitely was one of them.
What I was doing, was I was just giving free coaching sessions left, right, and centre. Anyone at all that wanted help in any way, shape, or form, I would give up my time for that person, and I would help them as much as possible. But I just didn't know how am I meant to charge money.
And I had a whole range of things going on inside myself.
Was it confidence issues?
Was it self-belief issues?
Was it believing that I had this gift that I wasn't meant to charge for?
Was it because it had slight spiritual element to it?
I really did struggle. I mean, how was I meant to charge money?
There is a healing art form out there known as Reiki. And Reiki's been around, really, since the beginning of time. The teachers of it were lost for a little bit, and rediscovered by a gentleman named Dr. Usui.
And Reiki is a hands-on/hands-off, or distant form of energetic healing. Now, I was actually fortunate enough to be trained up to master level in two different strains of Reiki, Tibetan Reiki and Usui Reiki. So I hold my masters in both forms of Reiki healing.
Now, during that time I read about the history of Dr. Usui. And inside those teachings I learned something quite fascinating. See, Dr. Usui used to travel from village to village in Japan, doing energy healings on the people in that village.
And what he found, was that when he did these energy healings on people they transformed completely.
And at the end of the session they would swear to him that the healing had healed the illness or the issue that they were facing. Dr. Usui would continue on his way, traveling from village to village. He would eventually make his way back to that village six to 12 months later.
And unfortunately, to his surprise, he realized that most of the things that he had worked on had come back. They had not actually been permanently removed. As in most the stuff he'd been working on was not actually fixed at all. It was only a temporary fix, and he couldn't workout why this was.
So what he decided to do was change something about the way he delivered his service.
Because Dr. Usui wasn't charging, because he believed, and he felt that the energy of Reiki was being passed through him, into another human being. How could he possibly charge for such a service?
He realized, though, that something had to change because people weren't changing. They weren't staying changed, they weren't changing for good. So he decided this. He decided to change the rules of his session.
And what he decided to do was make it that if you wanted a healing session from Dr. Usui, you had to provide an offering at the session. And the offering could be anything at all. It could be a handwritten card, it could be a gift of food. It could be a gift of services, it could be a gift of smiles, it could be gratitude. Anything at all, but there had to be some form of exchange that took place.
And so, the villagers were told in advance that, "When Dr. Usui comes through the town, you must bring an offering if you wish to receive a healing. And you must exchange that offering at the time of the healing."
You may be thinking, "What the heck does this have to do with you and I charging for our services in coaching?" Well, here is the remarkable think that Dr. Usui found hundreds of years ago. What he found was this. Once he asked for an offering at every single healing he provided, when he traveled back to the villages six to 12 months later, every single result that he had gotten with that client previously had stuck.
The healings had actually lasted. The change had been permanent. Now, you may say, "Well, Ben, How does this work? They're getting an energy healing, but why does the energy healing work at a much deeper level, and a more permanent level if they do some form of offering during that process?"
The Cycle Of Reciprocation
There is something out there known as a cycle of reciprocation. And people in any form of negotiation understand the power and the certainty behind the cycle of reciprocation. And it works like this. Any time someone does something good for you, you get locked up in a cycle of reciprocation, which means you have to reciprocate the good deed in order to equilibrate the process. You go back to a state of balance.
If there is now reciprocation done, what happens is the person gets trapped inside a loop of reciprocation. Now, that loop of reciprocation can often show up, and this is really one of the worst things to know. One of the worst things I learned is that if I do something free for another individual in the form of a healing or a coaching session, that individual will think day in, day out, night-after-night, "How can I possibly repay Ben for his service?"
I don't know about you, but you don't want to be up every single night trying to workout how to repay me for a free coaching session. You'd much rather be off in your life having a great life.
So what we understand, is when people do a fair exchange at the point of the service being transferred, you begin to occupy space and time in the other person's mind due to the cycle of reciprocation. And that cycle of reciprocation often leads to a very specific type of emotion, and that emotion is that of guilt.
What we discovered through Dr. Usui's teachings, and many other practices throughout the business world, in any form of services being delivered, is that if you don't charge for your services, you actually run the risk of putting your clients into a cycle of shame and guilt.
Now, let's face it, it feels fantastic being generous. It feels fantastic giving things away. It feels really good, it does. It feels good to be generous. It feels good to give, and give, and give. It does. But we have to take time to understand and appreciate what actually happens to the person whom we are giving it to.
If there's not an exchange of an offering for your services, you run the risk of the cycle of reciprocation, and you run the risk of creating guilt inside your clients. Once I understood this, I immediately started asking for an offering.
Now, here's the thing, the very first Reiki healing I ever did was with a lady by the name of Jessica Faithful. And Jessica actually had to provide an offering, and actually provided an offering of a small carton of milk and a packet of Tim Tams.
Believe it or not, the very first payment I ever got for any form of coaching that I ever did in my life, was milk and cookies. So that's actually milk and cookies. Now, I moved up to the reciprocation of $20 a session. I moved up to the reciprocation of $40 a session. I moved up to the fair exchange of $50 a session, the fair exchange of $70, $80, $100 a session. And I made sure that the exchange took place inside that service being given. And low and behold, people valued what I was doing.
But not only did they value what I was doing, they stuck true to their word, and they took the actions that actually resulted in their lives changing.
So if you ever doubt yourself again about whether or not you can actually charge money, just think of Dr. Usui. Think of him traveling through these villages, having the awakening, the undisputed epiphany, the enlightened moment of realization that if there is not fair exchange in the moment for any service being given, what ends up happening is we throw the other person out of balance. And we trap space and time inside their mind, and we put them into a cycle of reciprocation.
So I hope this helps, because when I heard this it changed everything about the way I thought about charging money. It was no longer about me receiving money, it was about me making sure that the client felt good about the service they were receiving. That the client had no guilt wrapped up around being given this gift of coaching, giving this gift of transformation. Because they felt they had exchanged something fairly for it.
So when it comes to receiving money, believe it or not, it is not about you. It is about how the client feels about that service being received.
So make sure you do get some kind of offering. My suggestion is that offering is in the form of money, because it is very easy to track, it's very easy to understand, and it's a fair and clean way of exchanging services.
So I hope this helps out. As I said, this information transformed everything for me as a coach, and allowed me to finally start charging money for my services.
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